They say it’s too late to be a pessimist. But sometimes I wanted to be a pessimist. I always felt that I am too pessimistic about things which I should be optimistic about and also the other way round. Especially being an electronics engineer myself, I need to believe that all the things that can go wrong will eventually go wrong. I need to suspect that every single bit that I flip, every single switch that I use, every trifle I touch can come back to me as the failure which I need to spend days to debug. But being an optimist is easy here. As soon as I see the word “PASS”at the end of the log file, I happily close the window and move on to the pleasing but guilt-ridden procrastination zone. Only when something real comes up, I go back and check what was it about that passing test, was it a false pass? Then panic stricken, I check and find out things. It’s similar to finishing a whole textbook in the night before the exam.
But then, my optimism and easy going attitude must have helped me reach this far. I always get this feedback from my peers that I am ‘cool under pressure’. I am anything but that. My innards will be in a turmoil, but I keep telling myself that it is not my problem to fix. If at all it’s my duty to fix, I tell myself that I have some days to fix it, not hours like they say. Once you are back to normal, then it is much easier to solve problems.